Medical Facilities Of North America Begin Wild Scramble For The ‘La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1’ Booklet

(we’re not entirely sure who this is, but he’s never played drums in any lineup of White Zombie)

Sorry I’ve been out of Matablog commission for a while.  Earlier this week, me and members of the new, super-secret Matador Records Street Team (they’re kind of like SEAL Team 6, except they can’t bench press as much) visited  record stores to misfile copies of Animal Collective’s ‘Centipede Hz’ in the hopes of improving ‘Sun”s first week chart placement (guess where I got the idea?) Before you flip out over the ethics of this scheme, I should confess it didn’t turn out exactly as planned.  The entire team (save for me, thankfully) was maced by the first shop owner we hit, and after a visit to the local emergency room was followed by a conference call with our solicitors…well, guess who forgot to have the Street Team sign waivers indemnifying the label in the result of physical injury?

I won’t bore you with the details except to say some of these street teamers come from families who are very litigious.  I think we can all agree that what’s wrong with this country is job creators like my partners and I being stifled by people who are afraid of a little competition.  But don’t cry for Matador Records, folks. No matter how high or low we might get over the day to day machinations of the music business, rest assured that no one in our organization has ever faked the identity of a former White Zombie drummer in order to avoid a $75K bill.