A Battle Royale (With Cheese) : Who Is Responsible For History’s Sickest Rock Video?

With all due respect to the likes of Darling Cruel, Joey Welz and whoever directed Mick Jagger’s “Let’s Work”, there are music videos that commit themselves to memory so profoundly, nothing sort of joining the Moonies (or a frontal lobotomy) is required to banish their dubious charms from one’s headspace. Today, we have two such contenders for the crown of Sickest Music Video Of All Time.


Challenger A, submitted by Mr. J. Reatard of Memphis, TN is The Dog Police.


Challenger B, offered by Megan Metzger of NY, NY, is the semi-legendary Complete. Feel free to make your own suggestions, but it’s gonna take some doing to top either of these.

7 thoughts on “A Battle Royale (With Cheese) : Who Is Responsible For History’s Sickest Rock Video?”

  1. dog police, no question. so much weirder, so much more offensive on various levels… and so much CATCHIER

  2. I remember that Dog Police video. MTV used to show it quite often. Or maybe it was Night Flight. No, it was MTV. Yes, I’m an old man. Good find, Jay.

  3. dog police fits the bill… it’s like Thriller slammed together with the Power Rangers fused with keyboards and John McCririck lending a hand for lyrics. Definitely a good contender for an all time sickest rock video!

  4. I, too, bow (wow) down before Dog Police. It’s truly one of the most offensive vids I’ve ever seen. Like, who are those guys to call that chick a dog, first of all? They look like John Oates’ stunt doubles for “Adult Education” (also a disturbing vid in its own right).

    I would, however, much rather party with C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E. If a dude in the band rocks a cat-in-the-hat hat, you know they have good drugs.

  5. Wow. I can’t believe that Matador is hip to the genius that is Joey Welz. Did you know that he was responsible for giving the Beatles their name? In all seriousness, though, I think what makes Joey Welz so captivating is that there is no question in his mind that he is a legend.

    With that said, I can’t believe you didn’t link to any of his videos. Oh well. I’ve come to save the day. Here’s three music videos plus a news report on his work with Tsunami.

  6. we tried to get Joey to play one of Matador’s events at CBGB back in 1992. We were told he need $5K plus a backing ensemble that knew “the standards”

    That, of course, was the breaking point in our negotiations. The Dustdevils were many things, but they didn’t know the standards.

    On a slightly related tip, I believe Mark Ibold was familiar with Joey before either of us.

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