To Hell With The Cell : Nawlins Docs Say Extreme Gabbers Are Shooting Blanks

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(a photograph of a sperm sample would be highly inappropriate for a family blog such as this, so let's enjoy the wonders of Sea Monkeys, instead!)

From the Guardian's Ian "I'd Like To Collect A" Sample.

Men who use mobile phones for long periods at a time may be at risk of damaging their sperm, according to research by American scientists.Samples taken from men attending a fertility clinic revealed that their sperm declined steadily in number, quality and ability to swim as mobile phone usage increased. Where men used their mobiles for more than four hours a day, researchers found a 30% drop in sperm motility or movement and viability when compared with men who did not use a mobile phone.

Scientists believe the study is too preliminary to prove an unequivocal link between mobile phones and falling sperm counts, but the work received a cautious welcome from other scientists who called for further studies to rule out other factors known to influence sperm quality, such as age, weight, smoking, stress and whether people had sedentary jobs.

Ashok Agarwal, who presented his findings at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine conference in New Orleans, stressed the study did not prove mobile phones were damaging male fertility, but urged scientists to investigate the possibility.

On behalf of the cellular phone industry, I'd like to challenge these finding. Not me, personally (I stood too close to a microwave oven while watching "Three's Company" as a youngster, and well, the rest is history), but there's a mountain of evidence that runs contrary to Dr. Argwai's claims.  For instance, Lee Atwater hasn't impregnated anyone in years.