Archive for the 'friday afternoon’s alright for writing' Category

Attn : 304 Hudson Street Marketing Geniuses

By Gerard on Friday, May 21st, 2010

Look, I know you guys are the best in the business. We’re practically choking to death on gold record plaques, high chart entries and major label copy-cat campaigners trying to sweat your hottest innovations.

All of that said, I am very, no check that, MEGA disappointed that we’ve yet to introduce a scheme for one of our elite artists (Kurt Vile? Julian Plenti? Ted Leo?) nearly as exciting as THE RICHIE KOTZEN PEACE SIGN VIP EXPERIENCE.  You know that expression, “freedom’s just a word for nothing left to lose?”  Well, in this instance, $100.00 is just another sum that will grant you access to a Richie Kotzen soundcheck.  But wait…….keep waiting…..a bit longer.  OK, that’s enough waiting.  THERE’S MORE!

* – A meet and greet with Richie!   Come meet RIchie, have your photo taken with him and get one personal item signed.
* -  An autographed, limited edition RICHIE KOTZEN 2010 PEACE SIGN WORLD TOUR COMMEMORATIVE POSTER!  (In addition to your personal item, RIchie will also personalize the poster for you at the meet and greet if you’d like)
* -  A copy of Richie’s new CD PEACE SIGN

Hot stuff, eh?  Keep in  mind, while Kotzen’s handlers have some mild disclaimers in place, there’s no mention, for instance, of the legendary axeman placing any restrictions on what sort of personalization you’d like on your poster or signed item.  So presumably, “C.C. Deville sucks, with love, RItchie” is still within bounds.

Thor To Governator : Brother, Can You Spare A Fighter Jet?

By Gerard on Friday, April 23rd, 2010
YouTube Preview Image

(from 1976, Thor on “The Merv Griffin Show”. Taken from the unreleased DVD box set, “Thor : The Proto-Piazza”)

Who amongst us hasn’t sat awake at night fantasizing about various rock icons reaching out to state Governors for assistance? For instance, Larry Lifeless would like Deval Patrick to tear up some parking tickets. Bobby Steele having a word with David Paterson about widening lanes on the NY State highways (admittedly, I might be mixing this up with a “Seinfeld” episode). Sometimes, however, reality is far more amazing than anything we might come up with while high, as the following item from that treasure trove of insane press releases,, illustrates.

Jon Mikl Thor has sought help from his old friend and fellow bodybuilder, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jon has asked Arnold to see if it was possible to board a military plane bound for Germany at the Beale Air Force Base in Northern California, 45 miles from Sacramento, to attempt to perform a concert at the Keep It True festival in Lauda-Königshofen, Germany on April 23.

Jon has helped Arnold before by performing with his band THOR at the Beale Air Force Base to entertain the military.

“The volcanic ash from the Icelandic eruption has stopped all travel from North America to Europe for commercial airlines,” Thor explained.

“I don’t always ask Arnold for help but this is a special request. If Arnold ever needed my help, I would be there in an instant.”

There are interesting parallels in both Jon and Arnold’s life. Both Jon Mikl Thor and Arnold Schwarzenegger won the Mr. Universe championship in their careers. Both have also had successful movie careers. Jon is planning on running for office in Washington state and Arnold already is a governor of California.

Oh, The Places You’ll Go: A Day In The Life Of A Non-SXSWer

By Michael on Friday, March 19th, 2010

You know, not everyone in the music industry descends upon Austin for the SXSW Music Conference. Somebody’s got to hold the fort down. After all, these records ain’t gonna sell themselves. This is my minute-by-minute account of March 18, 2010.

9:30 am: I’m here 30 minutes early because I had to be up and at the DMV by 8 am. Wondering who in Austin is still up drinking from last night. Office is eerily quiet.

10:30 am: Still the only one here… I think.

11:18 am: Chase a dog around the office in an attempt to remove a mail order package from his mouth. Sorry J. Roger from Phoenix… let me know if your corners are bent.

11:43 am: IMing with my cousin about who it would be creepier to get hit on by (if we were girls): The Fonz or Alex P. Keaton.

12:12 pm: Make a list of fake band names. Entries include: The Shittybutts, Sweet Love, Mike Watt’s Sweaty Socks, The Super Falcons, The Burnin’ Blazin’ Mississippi Madmen (feat. Dennis DeYoung), Tugboat Crash, Doucheslayer, Cocks-A-Fire, Wicked Neptune.

12:32 pm: Get a call from Kris Chen who is either drunk or psyched. Or both.

12:35 pm: Mentally count all the people I know who are at SXSW.

12:42 pm: Get a phone call from mom to tell me that Red River is “off the fuckin’ hook.”

12:45-1:40 pm: Stared at a paperclip.

1:45 pm: Ride the elevator a couple of times.

2:00 pm: Download a program that makes my digital photos look like Polaroids. Psyched.

2:03 pm: Realize that 99% of the fun of Polaroids is waiting for the pictures to develop. Bummed.

2:12 pm: Debate telling coworkers about my plans to time-travel.

2:45 pm: Watch #2 seed Villanova squeak out an embarrassing overtime win over #15 seed Robert Morris. Almost call the university to demand a refund of my tuition.

2:50pm: Sit in Patrick’s chair. Try to sign a bunch of cover bands. No one buys it.

3:01pm: Check the Bro’d Trip twitter account to see if Adam is going on without me.

3:05: Decide to take my own Bro’d Trip… to the deli.

3:25-3:55 pm: I think I just took a nap.

4:05 pm: Think about taking up cigarettes again.

4:06 pm: Think about taking up grass again.

5:00 pm: Look up Facebook profiles of girls who dumped me in high school.

5:10 pm: Look up Facebook profiles of kids I beat up in high school.

5:30 pm: Use a Google application to determine the distance of my nightly jogging route. Feel great that it’s 1.2 miles. Immediately feel awful that I felt great over 1.2 miles.

6:15 pm: Count the emails I’ve received today: 16. New all-time low.

6:25 pm: Laugh out loud at email #17 from one of our SXSWers that simply reads “Fuck you.”

6:29 pm: One minute to go.

Rage of the mastering engineers

By Patrick on Friday, January 29th, 2010

The pent-up frustration of mastering and recording engineers who have had to deal with members of an ignorant public for years has finally found in an outlet in a series of viral YouTube videos featuring computer animated characters speaking in computer-generated English accents.

The videos are brilliant, and point to the REAL revolution in the music industry over the past two decades, which is the proliferation of affordable (if often crappy) home-recording solutions. Someone needs to tell all those newspaper reporters that ProTools and GarageBand have had at least as much effect on the industry as P2P and torrents. It’s hard to believe now, but in 1980 it cost a lot of money even to cut a 2-song hardcore single. Analog recording is slow, expensive and requires a ton of skill. Actually, the same goes for decent digital recording, but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper and faster than it used to be. There are now approximately 200 times as many releases coming out annually as there were in 1980, and that doesn’t even account for the huge quantity of music that doesn’t see a commercial release and just lives on MySpace pages, YouTube videos and CDRs.

The above video would be enlightening and hilarious all on its own, but there are tons more. The videos have apparently struck a chord: “OMFG classic bigtime relate to this!” and “BAHAHAAAAA.  I am approached by so many douche-bags like that guy all the time. Stupid FruityLooping, clip-activating, preset-selecting chumps!!!”


Jon. Wow. I have to say you really made those beats bang. Bro. Bro. Get me?

Cold Cave ‘Death Comes Close’ 12″, ultra-limited edition details AND CMJ appearances

By Robby on Friday, October 16th, 2009


In addition to the previously announced and already-limited one-time pressing of Cold Cave’s new 12″ entitled ‘Death Comes Close’, in collaboration with Dominick Fernow of Cold Cave/Hospital Productions, Matador is set to release a different extra-limited edition of the 12″

This special version features exclusive artwork by Fernow is hand-assembled, stamped and editioned. Limited to one-hundred (100) copies, these records will make it into select stores and we’ll have it available for purchase at the Matador Store on Tuesday October 20 at 3:00 PM EST - They’re bound to go fast so mark your calendars and set your alarms.


If you’re in New York City next week for the CMJ festivities, you can catch Cold Cave at the following venues:

Keralan chicken stew

By Patrick on Thursday, February 5th, 2009

This is a hearty, homey chicken stew. Like many Keralan dishes, it uses spices like black peppercorns, cloves and nutmeg and thus feels strangely Western… because we imported those spices from Kerala, from the sixteenth century onward. The main non-Western ingredient is coconut milk – I used canned, because I wasn’t up to hammering open the 16-20 dessicated supermarket coconuts it would have taken to yield that much milk. Doesn’t it look delicious? But that isn’t actually it – all the pictures of the stew turned out murky, so I put in the Keralan okra salad that I served with it – the creaminess there comes from yogurt.

I really enjoyed this dish – another winner from Madhur Jaffrey’s sadly out of print A Taste Of India. But it didn’t come close to her recipe for lamb in pickling spices, which I made the following day. It turned out much better than it did last year – I’m much more comfortable with the whole process of cooking Indian than I was then.

One thing I’ve noticed in Indian food, and especially Keralan dishes is that you often start by cooking something with a main ingredient, setting aside that first part, and then re-adding a different version of the main ingredient again at the end. In the okra recipe, you fry the okra in seasoned oil, remove it with a slotted spoon (reserving the oil), and mix it with yogurt that has ground black mustard seeds in it. Then you take the reserved oil and fry whole black mustard seeds in it (with asafetida and dried red chilis) and add this to the yogurt-okra mixture. The black mustard returns, in a different form, with the okra-infused oil, at the end of the preparation.

Similarly, in the chicken stew, after preparing a soffrito of onions and whole spices, you essentially braise the chicken pieces in thin coconut milk and add lime juice. Then, in part two, you make a second soffrito of shallots in coconut oil, add curry leaves, and then thick coconut milk – which joins the thin coconut milk in the main stew for a second simmering.

I don’t know why cookbooks don’t tell you the reasons why you do things. You usually pick up on this stuff after preparing a number of dishes a number of times. This particular theme – adding a variant of an ingredient toward the end of a dish, in a different form – seems to me quite common in Indian cuisine.

A Fucked Up Halloween

By Judge on Saturday, November 1st, 2008

Fucked Up dropped by Matador UK today, to catch up on some paperwork.

We also managed to get some new press shots done, exclusively for the Matablog.


Fucked Up’s Halloween weekender continues tonight and the UK tour kicks off next week :

07 Nov : 93 Feet East, London
08 Nov : Freebutt, Brighton
09 Nov : Barfly, Birmingham
10 Nov : The Zodiac, Oxford
11 Nov : Cavern, Exeter
12 Nov : Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff
13 Nov : Sugarmill, Stoke
14 Nov : Bodega, Nottingham
15 Nov : Kasbah, Coventry
16 Nov : King Tuts, Glasgow
17 Nov : Corporation, Sheffield
18 Nov : Cockpit, Leeds
19 Nov : Roadhouse, Manchester
20 Nov : The GYC, Guildford

Super Shred Sunday Details

By Judge on Friday, October 17th, 2008

As you can see, Times New Viking have been having the time of their lives on the current Drowned in Sound endorsed Shred Yr Face tour with the lovely No Age and Los Campesinos! kids.

There’s still a fair few dates to go (see below) but if you happen to be London bound this weekend, be sure to get yourselves down to the Super Shred Sunday instore frenzy. Details had been kept secret until now, but i’m pleased to announce which band will be playing which store at what time and how you get in and what it’s all about etc etc:

3pm – Puregroove – No Age
5pm – Beyond Retro, East End – Times New Viking
7pm – Rough Trade East – Los Campesinos!

As with all things in life, there’s a catch – to get into the instores, you’ll need to obtain yourself a wristband.

There’s just 300 wristbands for the Super Shred Sunday instores. The first 100 wristbands will be available direct from Pure Groove Records when you pre order the exclusive Shredyrface 7″ (featuring all three bands), these wristbands will get you free entry into all 3 shows on the Sunday. For wristbands call Pure Groove on UK number 0207 778 9278 or visit

The remaining 200 wristbands will be available via Rough Trade East when you preorder the exclusive Shredyrface 7″ and will gain you free entry to the Beyond Retro and RT East instores.
For wristbands call Rough Trade East on 0207-392 7788 or visit

Remaining Shredyrface dates:

17 Oct Whelan’s, Dublin
18 Oct School Of Arts (14+), Glasgow
20 Oct Electric Ballroom (14+), London
21 Oct Fleece, Bristol (18+)
22 Oct Academy 3, Manchester (14+)

Q : What Do Peter Saville, Malcom Garrett, Mark Ohe and The Design Team Behind The Frantix’ “My Dad’s A Fucking Alcoholic” 7″ Have In Common?

By Gerard on Friday, September 26th, 2008

A : Aside from being creative geniuses? They’ve all been unfairly ignored by whoever compiled this list.

Great Moments In Outdoor Marketing

By Gerard on Friday, September 19th, 2008

I kinda like Geraldo Rivera’s scolding tone — he’s clearly above stunts and wasting the public’s time.