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Archive for the 'Early Man' Category

Matador Alumni At SXSW

By Gerard on Monday, March 16th, 2009
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OK, while past years have featured a half dozen or more former Matador recording artists performing at South By Southwest, this year’s batch of ex-lovers is a shorter, but no less spectacular list.  In addition to Early Man playing the Ale House on Thursday night at 1am,  18th Dye (above, as seen in New York last Autumn) are playing Submerged on Thursday at 11pm, and again Friday at Vogtsberger House (1402 E 2nd St) at 1pm.

Matador Alumni Corner Update

By Gerard on Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

We really oughta do these more often. Don’t call it a comeback, these folks have been here for years. Or somewhere else for months.

  

1) Early ManTouring like crazy and there’s a new EP on the Jarboe-tastic The End.

2) Jacob Morris, formerly one of the key characters beyond the dearly missed Double.  New EP on Rcrd Lbl

3) 18th DyeNew album and US tour.

Fucked Up Party NYC Sept 20

By Hiddenworld on Saturday, September 20th, 2008

torres
HEY DUDES
Fucked Up will be playing a free party at Santos Party House in New York tonight. It is free to get in and the band goes on at 11pm. Email nikebetrue_nyc@nike.com to try and get on the guestlist!

FUCKED UP 11pm
VAMPIRE WEEKEND 10pm
ANDREW WK Says Whats Up 12am
JAY REATARD 7pm

The Interweb’s Latest & Greatest Agony Aunt

By Gerard on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

If you’ve not been following the adventures of the recently evicted Mike Conte of Early Man, a quick scan of the amazing videos posted at the new Early Mike.com should sort you out.  However, what might arguably be the site’s highlight are the “Ask Early Mike” clips, the latest of which was posted this Monday.

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27643811

Early Man’s Early Entry For Greatest Flyer Of 2008

By Gerard on Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Early Man In Demonstration Mode

By Gerard on Thursday, December 6th, 2007
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with, we’re told, more video documentation to come.

It’s No ‘John Madden’s Colostomy Bag ’08′ But It’ll Do

By Gerard on Thursday, October 18th, 2007

from Early Man’s most recent myspace bulletin :

Did you know that aside from enjoying wine, women and bong, Early Man are huge hockey fans? It’s true! In fact, Early Man drummer Adam Bennati used to play hockey when he was a young lad. And Early Mike frequently likes to beat on people. So needless to say, we LOVE hockey! Which is why we teamed up with 2KSports NHL 2K8 for this once in a lifetime offer. But before we explain this contest, let’s start by getting you pumped up. Watch this:

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Are you stoked? Psyched? Amped? Doesn’t that video game trailer look almost half as awesome as the song playing in the background? Well, here’s the deal. We are going to give away PS3 and XBOX copies of the 2KSports NHL 2K8 video game for free!! All you have to do is draw a picture of Early Man playing hockey. It’s so easy! We’re going to give you until next Wednesday, October 24th to complete the task. So we suggest that you stop stalking your ex-girlfriend on Myspace immediately ( it’s SOOO over…you’re not even in her top 8, dude) and use your time wisely by breaking out the markers/pencils/crayons and getting to work. We will announce and post the winning pictures on our page when it’s all said and done. Theres no age limit. Theres no IQ limit (unfortunately). Just like life itself, you can make this as complicated or as simple as you’d like. The choice is yours. Good luck!

Send your pictures to: earlymanarmy@hotmail.com, Keep the files small PLEASE!

From The Records-Go-Round Dept.

By Gerard on Sunday, August 19th, 2007

World War IV : Early Man At Club Europa

By Gerard on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

The promoters call it "Thrashfest '07", which you have to admit, is way catchier than "Festival Of Many Menacing Fonts"

Head’s Up Tom Menino! Early Man Are BACK

By Gerard on Friday, March 2nd, 2007

The following was culled from Early Man's mailing blast, but is far too delicious to remain un-cut and pasted :

Meatwad_main.jpg

Early Man has teamed up with the fine people who create the best show on television and contributed a song for the upcoming AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATRES!!!

The new song is entitled "More To Me Than Meat And Eyes" and is about the ATHF character MEATWAD.

The soundtrack, which along with Early Man includes songs from Mastodon, Andrew WK, Schooly D, and Unearth, will be available everywhere on 4/10/07 (Williams Street) so go pick up a copy.

If you're from Boston, this is not a terrorist attack. I repeat, this is not a terrorist attack. It's just a bunch of songs for a movie. Put the guns away. Thanks.

Finally There’s Something On NYC Afternoon Radio Worth Listening To : Early Mike, Minus The Mad Dog

By Gerard on Thursday, March 1st, 2007

the following message arrived in our super urgento box a few minutes ago :

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This week on the almighty PIZZA PARTY East Village Internet Radio show Early Mike himself will be making a very special guest appearance. And the plot thickens because weekly host Max Wowch and Mike will be playing ONLY television and film theme songs. That's right, two full hours of that crap. You don't want to miss it. It might be your only chance to hear two grown men disect the brilliance of the Golden Girls theme.

Tune in Thursday, March 1st at 4pm by going to http://www.eastvillageradio.com

If you miss it you can still download it after the original broadcast. No excuses.

This Is What John Lithgow Had In Mind When He Tried To Ban Dancing

By Gerard on Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

Though Chris Lombardi has been flooding in-boxes worldwide with the clip below, it took the analytical chops of Early Man's Mike Conte to really capture the essence.

Admittedly I don't really know the dude from a hole in the ground, but: If Doug Aitken had any balls whatsoever he'd take down those Konica/Minolta commercials he made for MOMA (I'm standing in the freezing cold with Richard Hell's daughter and 7 kids from Bard for THIS SHIT? Thank god Prime Burger is up the street) and project a real piece of art like this here. Step it up a notch, guy. You only live once.

[coolplayer width="360" height="280" autoplay="0" loop="0" charset="GBK" download="1" mediatype=""]http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=679120070[/coolplayer]

Saddam Video Outrage: Early Mike He Is

By Adam F on Friday, January 5th, 2007

04earlyman.jpgNot since Fred Durst's thumb was featured on a sex tape has a cell phone video stirred such disgust.  Being the sensitive chap he his, Early Mike attempts to start the healing with a bit of poetry, inspired by the late, great Theodor Geisel.  

The Early Journey:   Saddam-I-Am

 

I’m selling the shirt off of my back. No, seriously.

By Early Mike on Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
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I always knew it would come to this. But I needed to take drastic measures, so…my favorite shirt is up for grabs.

 

BTW – If this sort of retarded shit is your cup of tea, I'm just getting started. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. You can subscribe via:

Early Mike - The Early Mike Show

EARLY MIKE SHOW – EPISODE 2

By Early Mike on Monday, December 11th, 2006
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Subscribe via:
Early Mike - The Early Mike Show

I should be getting wacked any day now. Oh well.

Shit You Hear At Parties, Pt. I

By Gerard on Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Once again, we're invoking the late Robert Haber to sell something.   Hey, if it ain't broke, why pay for repairs. See you friday!

Early Man rock corporate whores

By Matt on Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

Yet another subculture falls to the power of Early Man's live prowess. Snowboarding bowed down en mass to the band last Friday night in Seattle and are now answering to us… stay tuned to a complete line of Matador custom boards, boots  and bindings.

You can read more about it in their corporate news missive

iron_business_man copy.jpg

Here's just one tasty quote: "Black Sabbath's first album, Black Sabbath was released on Friday the 13th, February 1970. Friday the 13th October, 2006 saw the third annual Capita (Snowboarding) Corporate Event, and an earth shaking live performance by heavy metal gods, Early Man."

HUH?  Anyway, we would like to issue an official warning to anyone who straps boots with polyurethane wheels on their feet… you're next!

 

 

Can You Handle The Truth?

By Gerard on Friday, September 29th, 2006

Perhaps not, but Early Mike’s gonna serve it up, anyway.

Early Man have the following gigs planned for October :

October 13 – Neumos, Seattle, WA
October 15 – Hell’s Kitchen, Tacoma, WA (with 3 Inches Of Blood)

Early Man – Demolition Derby, The Final Crash

By Nick on Thursday, September 14th, 2006

In the history of motion pictures, there is no shortage of lost classics. Be it Erich Von Stroheim’s “Greed,” or Orson Welles’ original cut of “The Magnificent Ambersons,” coulda, shoulda, woulda been masterpieces have slipped through the cracks of time for as long as movies existed. But for the year, no lost classic has been so lost, or so classic as the 3rd episode of the Early Man demolition derby. Metal fans, fans of crashing cars, and especially fans of crashing cars while listening to metal have been walking around with an Early Man shaped hole in their hearts, seemingly destined to wait in cruel anticipation forever.

The wait is over my friends.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to present the electrifying conclusion to the Early Man car-wrecking saga. Once thought lost for all time, a print was discovered behind some stuff in our office. It is presented here, in sumptuous streaming video, for your viewing pleasure.

Early Man – Philly, NYC Dates With Venom

By Gerard on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

(Mike Conte of Early Man, photo by Cars-R-Coffins)

Early Man
will be playing the following Eastern USA dates supporting Venom.

September 5 – Irving Plaza, NY
September 8 – Trocadero, Philadelphia, PA

Goatwhore will be 2nd on both nights.

Early Man at MySpace
Early Man – “Death Is The Answer” video
Early Man – “Evil Is” (mp3)
Venom – Live At City Gardens (mp3, link taken from WFMU’s Beware Of The Blog)