Fucked Up: November UK tour, not playing “My Heart Will Go On”

(Fucked Up shot swiped from Joe Wilks’ Flickr without permission)

Those of a fragile constitution and/or prone to fainting at the sight of blood or nudity would probably be better served at a Celine Dion concert. However if enjoy a bit of terror in your life and want to experience one of the best things to come out of Canada for a long time, try this lot.

07 Nov : 93 Feet East, London (w/ Don Cabellero)
08 Nov : Freebutt, Brighton
09 Nov : Barfly, Birmingham
10 Nov : The Zodiac, Oxford
11 Nov : Cavern, Exeter
12 Nov : Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff
13 Nov : Sugarmill, Stoke
14 Nov : Bodega, Nottingham
15 Nov : Kasbah, Coventry
16 Nov : King Tuts, Glasgow
17 Nov : Corporation, Sheffield
18 Nov : Brudenell Social Club, Leeds
19 Nov : Roadhouse, Manchester

Citizens of the UK and Ireland beware: Jay Reatard coming to a town near you

(photo stolen from ElectrikCandyland’s Flickr without permission)

To the 95% of the population who didn’t get a chance to see Jay, Stephen and Billy back in May, your angry emails/prayers/sacrificial animal offerings/bribes/pleas have been answered. Please stop bothering us now. Seriously, I’m not joking.

The full Jay Reatard tour:
16-Nov – Green Synergy Festival, Dublin
18-Nov – Barrowlands 2, Glasgow
19-Nov – Deaf Institute, Manchester
20-Nov – The Faversham, Leeds
21-Nov – Korova, Liverpool
22-Nov – Bodega, Nottingham
23-Nov – The Cooler, Bristol
24-Nov – Old Blue Last, London
26-Nov – Sazerac (formerly Clockwork), London
27-Nov – Banquet Records (free in-store), London
28-Nov – Engine Rooms, Brighton

Shearwater – The European invasion

Hot off the heels from opening various Stateside enormo-dome arenas for some band called Coldplay (yeah I know, me neither), us Brits – along with the French, Irish and Dutch – finally get a piece of the Shearwater action this coming September.

If, like me, you’re of a financially-challenged nature, please take note of the free in-store gig the band will be doing at London’s Rough Trade East store on Thursday 18th September.

In a nutshell, there’s no excuse to miss out. At least, none that will wash with me.

10 September – Paradiso, Amsterdam (NL)
12 September – La Maroquinerie, Paris (FR)
13 September – End Of The Road Festival, Dorset (GB)
14 September – Zodiac, Oxford (GB)
15 September – Captain’s Rest, Glasgow (GB)
16 September – The Roadhouse, Manchester (GB)
17 September – Bush Hall, London (GB)
18 September – Rough Trade East, London (GB) *Free in-store performance*
19 September – Whelans, Dublin (IE)
20 September – Speakeasy, Belfast (GB)
21 September – Roisin Dubh, Galway (IE)

The Cave Singers return to London

The British love affair continues. I think it’s something to do with the high volume of beard per capita/band member.

The above Cargo show is just one of many others Pete, Derek and Marty will be playing in UK, Ireland and beyond….

10 August – Zomerparkfeest, Venlo (NL)
11 August – Bar Mondial, Antwerpen (BE)
12 August – Paradiso, Amsterdam (NL)
14 August – Cargo, London (GB)
15 August – Green Man Festival, Glanusk Park (GB)
16 August – The Adelphi Club, Hull (GB)
18 August – Roundhouse, London (GB) *
20 August – Crawdaddy, Dublin (IE)
21 August – Cyprus Avenue, Cork (IE)
22 August – Roisin Dubh, Galway (IE)
23 August – Speakeasy, Belfast (GB)

* w/ Alela Diane

I saw Times New Viking in London and all I got was this

I found this pinned to the wall of the Beggars flat. A parting gift from Times New Viking in the form of a ponytail sported by the formerly-long-haired Beth Murphy.

Not being one to pass up on any opportunity to make some drinking money on the sly, I’ll flog this to the highest and most foolish bidder. Cash preferably please. Sterling, not dollars (this is London after all).

Times New Viking in Cardiff

In a nutshell:

Went to Cardiff. Watched Times New Viking play Clwb Ifor Bach. Listened to Jimi Hendrix At His Best. Went to some dodgy bars. Drank shots. Mistook wallpaper for bookshelves (Jared mostly). Made friends with a lampshade.

Cue some misguided camera-phone action:

All in all, some very good times.

Catch the rest of the Times New Viking tour:
21 May – Plan B Night @ Corsica Studio’s, London (with Lovvers)
22 May – The Common Place, Leeds
23 May – Studio 24, Edinburgh
24 May – Captain’s Rest, Glasgow
26 May – Andrew’s Lane Theatre, Dublin

Jay Reatard & Times New Viking photo roll…

The Judge has already penned a candid account of the Jay Reatard/Times New Viking UK hostile takeover but for those of you who appreciate the odd band-in-action shot, here’s some to float your boat….

These are all ATP-centric and not very good, mostly due to my inability to juggle a camera and various glasses of vodka and beer. On the upside, I would highly recommend watching both bands as an instant cure for those hangover cobwebs.

Jay Reatard (opening proceedings on Friday)

Times New Viking (first thing on Saturday)

The Cave Singers: They came. We saw. They ate cake.

Currently spending a lot of time in a blue Transit van trailing Band of Horses around the good and bad parts of Europe, The Cave Singers stopped off in London for a couple of shows and also what can only be described as a 48-hour gastronomic binge. Seriously, those guys are now several kilos heavier. Any longer with us and they might have had to be craned out of the Beggars flat.

Lucky crowds witnessed greatness at Oxford Street’s Metro and West London’s Bush Hall where Pete, Derek and Marty saw fit to air some new tunes along with the favourites from Invitation Songs to a grateful audience.

The band continue their European jaunt with Band of Horses. If you’re in the area, I heartily recommend you go check them out.

All dates with Band of Horses:

04-Mar – Main Vega, Copenhagen (Denmark)
05-Mar – Sticky Fingers, Gothenberg (Sweden)
06-Mar – Debaser Medis, Stockholm (Sweden)
07-Mar – Rockefeller, Oslo (Norway)
08-Mar – Folken, Stavenger (Norway)
10-Mar – Columbia Club, Berlin (Germany)
11-Mar – Mousouturn, Frankfurt (Germany)
12-Mar – Garage, Milan (Italy)
13-Mar – Abart, Zurich (Switzerland)
14-Mar – Le Romandie, Lausanne (Switzerland)
15-Mar – Botanique Orangerie, Brussels (Belgium)

Photo 1: Birthday boy Derek clearly delighted with his Soy-free cake. Taken from The Cave Singers blog.
Photo 2: The band rocking out at Bush Hall. Taken by me after one too many Long Island Ice Teas.

Yo La Tengo rock out in the West Country

Ira + Georgia

Dorset’s End Of The Road Festival had three exceedingly good things this year:

1) Somerset Cider Bus
2) Pieminister
3) Yo La Tengo

I am not ashamed to confess that the culinary treats of hot spiced cider and pie, mash & mushy peas pipped the combined musical efforts of Georgia, Ira and James. BUT before you get all sanctimonious on my behind you need to know that in my world, FOOD is the food of love and I like mine rare and/or covered in chocolate. So get over it.

Just to enlighten the unenlightened, let me give you the lowdown on this little humdinger of a festival. End Of The Road Festival is set in the sweetly charming surroundings of Larimer Gardens, North Dorset. It’s home to a frankly terrifying number of peafowl who trot around proudly, heedless to the presence of some five thousand trespassing homo sapiens. There’s an enchanted forest and a not-so-secret garden. You can get a massage between bands. There’s an organic ice cream stall. The toilets are clean and (almost) sweet-smelling. You can watch bearded men in twee folk bands singing happy twee folk songs about beards. This isn’t a festival. This is a middle-class middle-England village fête.


The perfect antidote to such saccharine niceness is a big fat slice of Hoboken noise with extra feedback. Under the cover of darkness, Yo La Tengo unsettled the countryside sufficiently and stirred up a dangerously cold crowd hell-bent on not dying from hypothermia. Yo La Tengo don’t need to do a lot talking when they’re this good. From what I could surmise through the mental fog of too many hot ciders, the set was I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass-heavy and Ira’s endless onstage bounding could give latter-day frontmen half his age a run for their money. Que a hour and a half of frenetic communal dancing and the best set of the entire weekend.

Photos very inexpertly taken by me.

Cliffbos, Mandybos and Humperdinkbos

Sir Cliff

From yesterday's Guardian:

A new weapon in the fight against antisocial youth has been discovered: Cliff Richard records.

The organisers of a travelling funfair have found that a few bars of The Young Ones is enough to instantly disperse a gang of unruly teenagers.

"You don't really need Asbos when you've got Cliffbos," said Seth Carter from the family-run Carters Steam Fair.

Last Saturday the travelling funfair was in Hayes, Essex, when Mr Carter became concerned about the intimidating behaviour of a gang of about 20 teenagers dressed in hoodies.

The fair's ploy is the latest use of sonic warfare in tackling antisocial behaviour.

Last year the Local Government Association urged councils to use the "Manilow method" to break up gangs. The recommendation came after the authorities in Sydney, Australia drove away gangs in car parks by playing them Copacabana and Mandy.

The LGA produced a list of 20 songs that would deter teenagers. Top of the list was Release Me, by Englebert Humperdinck. Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine appeared at number 19.



Band in need of drummer. Accident-prone types need not apply.

This is possibly the only reason for wanting to step foot anywhere near James Blunt… 

Spinal Tap, the greatest band that never was, are to play at the Live Earth gig at Wembley, London on 7 July. The three actors Michael McKeen (David St Hubbins), Christopher Guest (Nigel Tufnell) and Harry Shearer (Derek Smalls) have been brought together for the appearance by the director of 'This Is Spinal Tap', Rob Reiner. A short ten minute film has also been made, and will be screened at the gig.

Reiner says of the band's appearance: "They're not that environmentally
conscious, but they've heard of global warming. Nigel thought it was just
because he was wearing too much clothing – that if he just took his jacket
off it would be cooler."

I’d prefer a chocolate teapot for Christmas


…but I'll settle for this:


A team of Australian scientists [That's an oxymoron if I saw one], presumably with too much time on their hands, have created the air guitar t-shirt, which turns air guitarists fake
strumming into real music. The shirt, developed by the Australian
Commonwealth Scientific And Industrial Research Organisation
, has sensors
within the elbows that send information to a computer, which creates music
based on its wearer's air guitaring. Richard Helmer, one of the scientists
behind the t-shirt, told reporters the t-shirt was "an easy-to-use, virtual
instrument that allows real-time music making" and that it could be used by
"players without significant musical or computing skills".

Asked about the new invention, Metro quote Jeff Disaster of UK Air Guitar,
the people behind the previously reported Air Guitar Championships, as
saying: "I would love to get one but I don't think they would be allowed in
air guitar championships. The rule is there can be no guitars on the stage;
this is essentially a midi-guitar, so it violates the main rule of air

It's the next step up from playing music from your mobile phone without headphones on all forms of public transport to the delight of everyone around you. What a great way to make friends and keep them.

On second thoughts, don't get me one.