You might think we’re a pretty arrogant bunch at Matador Records and Filmworks. We used to be, at least until everything we knew about showbiz was piledriven into the pavement (GET IT?) by a group of young men from Minneapolis who I’m pretty sure will go down as the biggest thing to hit that town since
Owl City Trip Shakespeare. We’ve already blown our 2012 signing budget on Ceremony and The Young, so it’ll be up to another enterprising label (Fat Possum, we’re looking right at you) to take full advantage of the musical equivalent of this friendly label throwing a big meatball right down the middle of the plate. You’re welcome!
“Please get in touch with me at the address above or contact my male secretary via electronic mail.” wrote Mr. Bickerton, though a few weeks later, he opted to send the following message rather than send a second package to my home address (thanks for that, by the way).
Dear Mr. Cosloy,
I take it the COZY promo materials I dispatched to you on the 19th of October have made their way into your hands by now. While you are doubtlessly in the process of drafting a contract worthy of a band with COZY’s limitless promise, I must urge you not to stand on ceremony any longer. Our offices here at Razzle Dazzle Ltd. have been flooded with requests from major record labels across the globe in recent weeks, including such heavy hitters as RAK, BELL, DECCA, CUBE, STATE, POLYDOR GERMANY, and RCA JAPAN. However, we would still like to give you first crack at releasing these recordings due to Matador’s reputation as a label on the cutting edge of trends in popular music. As I’m sure you are aware, the sky is truly the limit when marketing a band like COZY. Hit records are a matter of course with these boys, but the sales of merchandise aimed at their teenage fanbase (lunchboxes, dolls, posters, backpacks, trading cards, board games, chapter books. etc.) will open up a myriad of potential revenue streams for the record label lucky enough to sign them. This is to say nothing of the Cozy Variety Hour program that is being shopped around to networks at this very moment! It’s no exaggeration to say that COZY have the potential to be bigger than the Osmonds and the Defranco’s COMBINED!!!!!
Again, I implore you to act soon before this once in a lifetime opportunity slips away forever. Fortune favors the bold and dreams only come true if we have the courage to make them into reality. Let’s make some magic together.
President, Razzle Dazzle Ltd.