Help Stephen Malkmus write a song

July 15th, 2011 at 8:59 am by Patrick

Help Stephen Malkmus write an FCC-friendly version of his new single Senator, from the upcoming album Mirror Traffic (out August 23). As you’re probably aware, the chorus features the line “I know what the senator wants – what the senator wants is a blowjob.”

Come up with a replacement for the word “blowjob” that radio stations can air, and Stephen will sing the winning entry for the radio single when we send it to stations at the end of September. PLUS, you’ll win a one-of-a-kind 7″ single featuring your version of “Senator” on one side, and the original version on the flip – the rarest Matador release ever.

Deadline for entries: August 23
Winner to be announced: September 15

Click on the banner above to go to and submit your entry. All standard contest rules and restrictions apply.

And for inspiration…

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13 Responses to “Help Stephen Malkmus write a song”

  1. E. Holmes Says:

    Slime blob, Hot dog, corn cob…

  2. Oliver Says:

    shut up E Holmes!!!!!!!!!!! stick to sucking at Turkish fantasy basketball

  3. taylorb Says:

    what the senator wants is his nose blown

  4. mah- Says:

    …..a nose job-

  5. Tony Prichard Says:

    the glitch mob

  6. dan Says:

    the senator wants a blow pop!

  7. dan Says:

    the senator wants a blow pop

  8. Jellyroll Says:

    Jet ski? Ma-ssage? Chu-Hi?

  9. Geoff Says:

    There’s an F-bomb at 1:53 too, no? Might wanna bleep that. Weed & blowjobs seem integral to the message of this song. Why bother with a radio edit? I guess if it worked for Mumford & Sons, huh?

  10. Tony Bitch Says:

    what the senator needs is to release his seed!

  11. Jessica Says:

    Glow Hog!

  12. Nathan Forester Says:

    Contract. What the Senator wants is cahhnnn-traaakt. Problem solved it is easy to sing and doesn’t betray the original idea. Or at least that is my take.

  13. A day late and a dollar short Says:

    Can’t you just use hummer?