Matablog

Writing About Love

November 30th, 2010 at 1:15 am by Matt

Saying you love someone or something is pretty easy, right. It’s always kinda rolled off the tongue without a second thought. There are lots of things that you “love” or you think you love, well… until you don’t anymore. The whole thing might just fade away. It can be pretty fleeting.

I’ve got a long list of things I “love” (certainly much long than this)…

I love yellow corn grits with parmesan cheese and maple syrup.
I love condiments of all kinds (but dijon mustard most of all).
I love everything bagels with cream cheese and lox from Murray’s Bagels.
I love pork chops.
I love the color brown.
I love mid-century modern design.
I love releasing music by people who I respect.
I love Neil Young, Belle & Sebastian, Bert Jansch, Unwound, Grouper, Lungfish, Polvo, Pentangle, Sun Ra and some others.
I love living on the east coast because the beach is only a short drive away.
I love my parents for giving me the freedom to become exactly who I wanted to be even when they knew I was probably making some wrong decisions at the time.
I love my wife for her never-ending patience and support. She’s also lots of fun to spend time with.
I love my sisters even though I don’t see either of them as much as I’d like.
I love New York. Growing up here was amazing and I love that we’re raising our kids here too.
I love visiting New Mexico because of how quiet it is and how big the sky is and how great the food is.

As I’ve matured I realize that ‘feeling love’ goes well beyond just being able to assign a some words to people and things. In the last five years it’s taken on meanings that I never really considered. It has more to do with feelings that are much harder to define, that are latent and perhaps unmeasurable. It’s a feeling that creeps up on you, reveals itself and even surprises you. You feel it deeply in your chest or it just keeps you awake at night.

I love my friends but I didn’t realize how much until they moved 5,000 miles away. New York has become an infinitely lonelier place without them.
I love my wife but certainly never felt it the way I did after watching her give birth to the two single most incredible dudes in the world. She’s also an amazing mother.
I love eating out but so much more when the whole family goes out to dinner and finds a dark, cozy corner to enjoy being with each other.
I love sleeping but never the way I do when one of my little guys climbs into bed with us and falls asleep on my back.
I love watching Oliver play games but much more when he loses and with a big smile he congratulates the person that just beat him.

These instances just keep multiplying for me. This kind of love just continues to grow. It creeps into every pore. It’s hard to run away from. The best few words that I could find to describe it has already been called out in @jjuuddggee’s post and comes from the title of most recent Arthur Russell album “Love is Overtaking Me”.  I think what illustrates it best for me is when I look into my guys’ room and see them playing together quietly. They are slowly passing toys back and forth, coloring on the same piece of paper, the older one showing the younger how something works, helping to turn something on or open it the right way. They are sharing a series of moments. Looking in on them I see them falling in love with each other.  It’s that simple. They don’t know it yet but it’s growing. Love is overtaking them too. Love is overtaking us all.

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One Response to “Writing About Love”

  1. Jenna Says:

    matt, this is so lovely.