Sincere apologies to Raymond Carver for the headline. Man, if I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me, “what’s the deal with that Courtney polaroid?”, well, I wouldn’t have enough money for a Torchy’s Taco. So imagine my surprise when Nils told me I’d been assigned to write an essay on the subject! To be perfectly frank, I’m not sure what would’ve possessed Courtney to deface the walls of a perfectly good Seattle home, but keep in mind, she also agreed to appear in “200 Cigarettes”. So her judgment hasn’t always been super sharp.
All kidding aside, there have been a handful of collisions w/ Ms. Love and myself during Matador’s storied history. The above snapshot — culled from a photo session for Newsweek — was probably provoked by any number of nasty comments I probably composed in the pages of Conflict, CMJ or the New England Journal of Medicine. Shortly after Courtney left a rather profane rant on our answering machine (she seemed to take great exception to Chris Lombardi’s outgoing message — our fearless founder shouting the praises of “Matador recording artists, U2” while “I Will Follow” blared away in the background) we were introduced on a Los Angeles sidewalk by a rock biz colleague. She mentioned something about our forming our own personal branch of MENSA, which I took to be a huge compliment — until I later learned she’d used the same line on Evan Dando, Wings Hauser, former Raiders QB Todd Marinovich and most distressingly, newsman Irving R. Levine.
The name calling and rancor eventually came to a halt — mostly because Scott Weiland provided so much easy copy over the years. But this exercise has proven rather instructive for me. Just what exactly do I have against a very wealthy multi-talented woman with whom I have so very much in common? Our similarities are uncanny ; we each survived marriages to far more successful, talented musicians. Both parties’ “loose cannon” reputations stand in the way of major Hollywood parts. Courtney’s made the transition from rock icon to fashion blogger…and so have I! So in the spirit of the impending holiday season, I’m declaring a moratorium on the Courtney-bashing. From this moment onwards, if you want to take a shot at her, you’ll have to get thru me first. Wayne Gretzky had Dave Semenko, Michael Jordan had Charles Oakley, George W. Bush had Karl Rove. Since none of those gentlemen are available to assist Courtney Love, now she’s got me.