26 – LEEDS Cockpit
27 – GLASGOW Garage
28 – MANCHESTER Club Academy
01 – LIVERPOOL Korova (Fucked up headline show, not part of SYF.)
02 – CARDIFF Clwb Ifor Bach
03 – NOTTINGHAM Rescue Rooms
04 – LONDON Electric Ballroom
05 – BRIGHTON Concorde
06 – BIRMINGHAM Academy
I asked Jonah ‘Mr Jo’ Falco to give me a few thoughts on what he was expecting on the tour.
5 Things Likely to happen to Fucked Up in Old Blighty on the Shred Yr Face Tour:
The Sad Truth:
1 – “Connection” (Rolling Stones) aka The internet struggles to keep up with 6 members of Fucked Up all slobbering over gmail at once on one pithy, homemade, pirated network in some parking lot north of Lancashire. Meanwhile, Lord Fontleroy or whoever the poor guy whose signal was pirated weeps as his house is foreclosed upon due to high bandwidth bills.
2 – “Soundcheck” aka That’s the Point: 1/10 will happen without pouting. 10/10 result in the following: Guitar stack 1: check. Guitar stack 2: check. Guitar stack 3: check. Silence, then judgement: “Turn down the guitars, they are pretty loud in the mix.”
3 – “The Golden Wrapper” aka 10,000 Marbles (aka 10kM aka 1,000,000 Meatballs) eats a chocolate bar. Everyone has their executive stress ball in their office and since M is a non drinker, mostly watches balls on television and doesn’t have a desk, this is his out. Despite his old rep in the band as “Organic Bok Choi,” he has completely renounced his past self and now claims that eating exclusively candy and sweets is simply “the most delicious lifestyle possible.”
4 – “Fooled by Fried Bread” aka Pinkeyes eats an inappropriately humungous meal right before a set and leaves the stage during a song to 1) poo or 2) throw up. This happens about once a tour. You can usually tell ‘tonight is the night’ if he asks for an extra long mic cable, because the King can still sing from the throne. Beware, be impressed, be regular.
5 – “The Encore.” Usually our finest hour. Like a group of toddlers on a museum tour, tethered by some brightly coloured plastic leash: One wants to see the exhibit one more time while the rest have to pee and just want to go home and watch cartoons (see #1 to complete this metaphor). Coax as little as you want, it only takes one of you to birth “The Encore.” PS we haven’t learned any new covers.